God Replied!

I got a forwarded email, apparently addressed to God.


Dear GOD,

We fervently pray that our nation will be spared from another threatening typhoon.

Our suffering people have not recovered from Ondoy’s wrath.

Please prevent Pepeng and other typhoons from hitting any of our islands.

Save us from further calamities by embracing our country with your protective grace and merciful blessings.

Lord Jesus we humbly ask for your intercession that we and our families be safe from all these afflictions

Amen. Pray unceasingly. Please pass to start prayer brigades.


I forwarded it to God and believe it or not, God emailed me back!

Dear Faithful,

I’m sorry to say that your nation will not be spared from another threatening typhoon, nor from any other natural calamity for that matter.

Unfortunately, when I created the heavens and earth, I miscalculated with placing your country by the edge of the great pacific ocean where powerful typhoons originate. My bad.

It is also unfortunate that your islands ended up in a rather unstable continental plate, frequented by earthquakes and volcanic activities. As you may have known ever since, you are indeed situated in the Pacific Rim of Fire. My second bad.

Had I known that my faithfuls who pray all the time would end up in such a calamity-prone geographical location, I would have placed all of you in Sweden where typhoons are never heard of and earthquakes almost non-existent. If you ask me, the Swedes, who never pray don’t deserve to be in such a safe place!

I am not punishing you with all these calamities because of your sins. There are more sinful peoples out there mind you. I really want to help you. However I am no more in position to redesign the world. I don’t even know whether I exist or not. You see, there’s the mystery. And you will never understand.

If you ask me, prayer brigades won’t stop flash floods. What you need is a brigade that will cleanse your country of corrupt politicians. What you need is a people’s brigade that can ensure good governance. A people’s brigade who will elect effective administrators, who are not only good in disaster coordination but also in implementing projects for disaster prevention.

It annoys me that every single fucking year (excuse the language, I am god after all), your people never learn. There are only two seasons in your country, wet and dry. During the dry season, you complain that there’s no water. When it’s wet you complain that there’s too much water. The equation is too simple to miss! Why don’t you store the excess water during the wet season? Of course your dams are too old and too small to contain huge volume of water. And for a country regularly visited by heavy rains, it is ridiculous that you don’t have any functioning flood control system whatsoever. How does your government prioritize its budget? How much goes to projects aimed at alleviating the effects of natural calamities which you expect year in and year out?

So, please stop praying about this. I tell you, prayer does not work. Especially when sent via email. You were lucky yours didn’t end up in the spam folder.

-God

About metromogli

MOGLi - A Brown in the Land of the Blues and Blondes
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4 Responses to God Replied!

  1. Smek this! says:

    Yes, the matter is sensitive. If it were an ancient Egypt or Rome in question, the ruler would have ordered a huge dam to be created, at whatever cost. The people would have done the work, but then again the dam would give them a chance to live. Now the powers-that-be argue with themselves and push the money in their own pockets. I think a prayer helps more your spiritual state of mind than in pursuit of economic or catastrophe-free living. Good but brave post from you, Mog… eh, God. Godly. Godley? —– BTW, what is the catch in this kontrollkod? Nowadays I have to try sending a comment several times before I get it through. There must be a certain order before the kontrollkod is accepted. Many reader may have given up commenting. That hardly is your meaning. Unless God doesn’t allow commenting…

  2. mogLi says:

    @Smek: Thanks for informing me about the problem with the control code. I’ve now completely removed it. Regarding the topic of this post, the issue is indeed sensitive. You are correct that prayers are supposed to be for personal spirituality and not for, as you said in pursuit of economic or catastrophe-free living. Unfortunately, most faithfuls especially those in impoverished countries truly believe that prayers/magic chants/voodoos/or whatever you might call it, would save their asses from all imaginable ills, both natural and man-made.

  3. ellen says:

    Are you Pinoy? So what’s a pinoy doing in a place like this — and doing so well! Have read only this post (first visit in your blog) but certainly liked it I don’t know why. Weird huh like all our kababayans, regardless of social or political or sexual orientation – education – much wealth or the lack of it – or creed.Truth is incredible. Lols!

  4. mogLi says:

    @Ellen: Hi there! I almost missed your comment. Thanks for the visit and for liking this blog. Yes I’m pinoy…to the bones. LOL!

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