Childish Beliefs

It is kind of amazing and scary at the same time how certain things I heard when I was a child still strike me with fear or still make me uneasy. You know those kinds of lies grown ups (usually parents) tell children just so they stop messing around.

Like when my mother would tell me not to play too much out in the sun because I will get a lot of head lice. Until now, when I’m out in the sun for a long time (which rarely happens here in Sweden), I would start imagining lice exponentially populating my scalp, enough to trigger off some serious head scratching. Or when she would tell me to take the afternoon nap so that I will grow tall. Well, with my 180 cm, I did sure turn out to be taller than the average Fillie guy. But I can assure you it was not because of those afternoon naps, though when I joke around with some of my vertically-challenged friends, I would tease them that they should have listened to their mums when they were small and should have taken those naps.

I also grew up believing that all white people were Americans. And that all American males are named Joe. Well it was not only me but all of my childhood friends in the village where we used to run half-naked chasing chickens and pigs. One day a group of caucasian tourists came and we were of course frantically waving and shouting “Hey Joe!” to all the men. This very same gang of mine told me that if you bump your head, you will become stupid. And to counter that effect, you got to knock your chin three times, making sure your lower jaw moves up such that the molars would make those knocking sounds. Looks like a complicated move but not really. And it kind of made sense back then. But now when I bump my head I would still do that, though in a very discreet manner.   

Here is something funnier. A swedish colleague grew up believing what his father told him when he was small that when a car engine is left running for a long time when it is just parked, it will eventually explode. Until now, in his 30s he still gets fidgety when passing by a parked car with a running engine.

But I think no other lies would take the prize from those with the aim of dissuading prepubescent boys from playing with their willies. I can write a really funny book about what parents tell their sons in a catholic country just so they would stop jerking off. It ranges from you’ll get blind to you’ll grow hair on the palm of your hands. If those were true I would have been a blind kid with palms like that of Chewbacca multiplied a hundred times.

Here is a blind Chewbacca if you don’t know what I mean:

So, what is your childish belief? Chewbacca wants to know.       

About metromogli

MOGLi - A Brown in the Land of the Blues and Blondes
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12 Responses to Childish Beliefs

  1. Anonymous says:

    Dang! And can you imagine how many shit jumping I did every freakin’ new year because i was told that you need to freakin’ jump as high and mighty to grow taller? leche! punggok akong lumaki!”I also grew up believing that all white people were Americans” tell me about this darn shit! hahaha! when i went home to Manila in 89/90 i think, i told my friends that i was “American” and everybody laughed at me because I wasn’t even blue eyed and blond hair. I stopped telling everybody who i was. Leche!

  2. reyna elena says:

    hehehe that was me who commented without the ID hahaha!

  3. Smek this! says:

    A good one, may the fist be with you, LOL!

  4. Zhu says:

    I thought the Berlin wall wasn’t an actual wall… til I saw its fall on TV. I was like 7 years old.I don’t remember believing in Santa Claus or anything similar though.

  5. Smek this! says:

    Oh yes, I checked it out. Where I come from, fisting means something you can do, when your thumb touches all the fingertips in your hand, LOL!And don’t worry: I read that Sarah Palin thought that Africa is one state, up till now! And she’s 40-something… Would like to hear her lessons learned from the election 🙂

  6. MOGLI says:

    @Smek This: Ok, I won’t argue about your definition of fisting, although wikipedia doesn’t seem to agree. Hahaha! Regarding Palin, she seemed not to have outgrown many of her childhood beliefs.@Zhu: Embarrassingly enough I believed in Santa Claus until I was nine or ten. Actually imagined him and his reindeers sleighing over our rooftop one stormy christmas night. I was so hoping he would crash down on our bacyard so I could steal all his gifts! Hahahaha!

  7. cheh says:

    Very classic nga yang magtatalon pag New Year!Not sure, if you guys know about wearing red undies sa New Year swerte din daw! tinigil ko yan pag suot suot ng pulang undie minamalas ako hahahaI grew up believing nuno sa punso,kapre at tiyanak.Yung sang tiyanak nga namumuno sa bansa natin ngayon.Pity noh? LOL

    • MOGLI says:

      Red undies pag new year? Hahaha! Never heard of that. Di ba may polka dots daw ang dapat isuot pag new year para swerte sa money. Tsaka about the nuno, tama ka dayan. Dahil nakasanayan ko na rin, kahit dito nagta-“tabi po nuno” ako pag jumijinggel sa mga kagubatan. Hahaha!

  8. My grandpa told me not to swim at the deep end of the pool because there were sharks there. *LOL* I was about five years old then. I believed that for the longest time and at one time, didn’t even want to swim in a pool. *wry smile*Cheryl

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