On Sex

I wrote about Love and Commitment a few entries back. And when talking about relationship, sex inevitably comes into the picture.

You see, I think a lot about sex. I also talk and write a lot about it. Not only because it is good but because it is a very loaded topic. It is loaded in the political and social sense, that is.

Two years ago, I wrote an essay here about how the attitude of the Filipinos (specifically those of the young people’s) regarding sex is kind of related to the cycle of poverty plaguing the country. I wrote the piece in my mother tongue but I can summarize my thesis as being that the youth’s mis-education about sex, together with the government’s weak/spineless population control program (or the lack of it thanks to the powerful lobbying of religious institutions) has lead to the prevalence of teen-age pregnancies. And you can easily connect the dots from there.

Back home, sex is generally viewed as something shameful and sinful. This I think has lead to it being highly mystified and mythified, in turn plunging the youth in the dark abyss of ignorance. Artificial birth control methods are discouraged, thanks to the heavy influence of the church on local politics. Despite the moral preachings however, teen-age pregnancies are so prevalent, that in 2005 almost a million new births in the Philippines are by those aged from 15-24 yr old young mothers. These young families, usually lacking any income end up living with any of the young couple’s parents. This set up is not only economically but also psychologically draining to all the parties involved. From generation to generation, this chronic cycle is repeated, trapping everyone in almost inescapable poverty.

In that essay, I built up my position by starting how sex is a product of evolution (as a means to create beneficial genetic variation) and that sex between two consenting adults is but a very natural thing to do. But of course there are limits which kind of sex is allowed and which are not. Incest for one is taboo in most, if not all, modern societies. This is a natural moral law carved out of thousands of years of human interaction and experience. Our ancestors have long observed that mating between/within families tend to produce unfit/abnormal individuals. The scientific basis which we understood later, was based on simple genetic probability being that many genetic diseases are manifested only when both the diseased copies of genes are inherited from both parents. [It is indeed annoying when religious institutions think they have the monopoly to what is right and wrong. In fact, if humankind did really originate from the biblical Adam and Eve, you would imagine it was incest galore back then!]

The reason I’m writing about this is because I happened to listen to a radio program here in Sweden some weeks ago discussing the attitude of young people about pre-marital sex. They interviewed a number of young women with different religious backgrounds. It was not surprising at all that almost all immigrants coming from non-secular countries have very conservative view about pre-marital sex. That is no marriage, no sex. And they value the sexual virginity (almost exclusively of the women) more than anything else, when it comes to entering a marriage. The men apparently can fuck as much as they want prior to marriage without any negative repercussions or social stigma. Talk about double standards, right?

I’m really amazed how discussions about sex is so open and enlightened here in Sweden. Sex education starts early in schools and the media contribute a lot in disseminating information regarding sexual awareness. The system of course is not yet perfect. There are still a lot of people here who disregard safe sexual practices. But still, I think the secularised nature of treating sex here is something that should be emulated by many developing countries with an acute need of effective population control program.

Anyway, just to end this piece, as one of the comments in my essay said, “Dont just be a responsible driver, be a responsible fucker!” LOL.