On Sex

I wrote about Love and Commitment a few entries back. And when talking about relationship, sex inevitably comes into the picture.

You see, I think a lot about sex. I also talk and write a lot about it. Not only because it is good but because it is a very loaded topic. It is loaded in the political and social sense, that is.

Two years ago, I wrote an essay here about how the attitude of the Filipinos (specifically those of the young people’s) regarding sex is kind of related to the cycle of poverty plaguing the country. I wrote the piece in my mother tongue but I can summarize my thesis as being that the youth’s mis-education about sex, together with the government’s weak/spineless population control program (or the lack of it thanks to the powerful lobbying of religious institutions) has lead to the prevalence of teen-age pregnancies. And you can easily connect the dots from there.

Back home, sex is generally viewed as something shameful and sinful. This I think has lead to it being highly mystified and mythified, in turn plunging the youth in the dark abyss of ignorance. Artificial birth control methods are discouraged, thanks to the heavy influence of the church on local politics. Despite the moral preachings however, teen-age pregnancies are so prevalent, that in 2005 almost a million new births in the Philippines are by those aged from 15-24 yr old young mothers. These young families, usually lacking any income end up living with any of the young couple’s parents. This set up is not only economically but also psychologically draining to all the parties involved. From generation to generation, this chronic cycle is repeated, trapping everyone in almost inescapable poverty.

In that essay, I built up my position by starting how sex is a product of evolution (as a means to create beneficial genetic variation) and that sex between two consenting adults is but a very natural thing to do. But of course there are limits which kind of sex is allowed and which are not. Incest for one is taboo in most, if not all, modern societies. This is a natural moral law carved out of thousands of years of human interaction and experience. Our ancestors have long observed that mating between/within families tend to produce unfit/abnormal individuals. The scientific basis which we understood later, was based on simple genetic probability being that many genetic diseases are manifested only when both the diseased copies of genes are inherited from both parents. [It is indeed annoying when religious institutions think they have the monopoly to what is right and wrong. In fact, if humankind did really originate from the biblical Adam and Eve, you would imagine it was incest galore back then!]

The reason I’m writing about this is because I happened to listen to a radio program here in Sweden some weeks ago discussing the attitude of young people about pre-marital sex. They interviewed a number of young women with different religious backgrounds. It was not surprising at all that almost all immigrants coming from non-secular countries have very conservative view about pre-marital sex. That is no marriage, no sex. And they value the sexual virginity (almost exclusively of the women) more than anything else, when it comes to entering a marriage. The men apparently can fuck as much as they want prior to marriage without any negative repercussions or social stigma. Talk about double standards, right?

I’m really amazed how discussions about sex is so open and enlightened here in Sweden. Sex education starts early in schools and the media contribute a lot in disseminating information regarding sexual awareness. The system of course is not yet perfect. There are still a lot of people here who disregard safe sexual practices. But still, I think the secularised nature of treating sex here is something that should be emulated by many developing countries with an acute need of effective population control program.

Anyway, just to end this piece, as one of the comments in my essay said, “Dont just be a responsible driver, be a responsible fucker!” LOL.

About metromogli

MOGLi - A Brown in the Land of the Blues and Blondes
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18 Responses to On Sex

  1. malen says:

    You see, I think a lot about sex ~ mogliANAK KA NG PERV!!! HahahahaYOUNG PEOPLE are having sex and nothing/noone can stop them from doing so. Minsan kahit gaano kataas ang spirituality and morality ng isang tao, pagdating sa area ng sexuality, sumasablay pa din. Totally agree with your point, SEX EDUCATION/AWARENESS is a must! The best way is to teach our young children the responsibility of their acts para mabawasan ang mga unwanted pregnancies.just like blogging 101, they should implement it as early as kindergarten. Hahaha, ok that’s too early pero you should look at these kids here:http://manilenya.com/2008/01/12/if-theres-something-strange-in-your-neighborhood-who-ya-gonna-call/Very alarming!!! Waaaah. Naloka aketch jan. Have a nice nice day bords. 🙂

  2. maluca says:

    If I’m buying a car I want to drive it first, If I’m getting married… 😉 // maluca

  3. reyna elena says:

    graveyshus to the maximum leveleyshus ang post na tooooo!!! hahaha!

  4. reyna elena says:

    we don’t talk about sex in the philippines. we just DO IT. yeap, nike style.after years of being bastardized in the US with every sex whatever chuvalais you see here, as a matter of fact, the biggest culture shock i experienced was when 1girl/1boy in my class here in phila shocked the heck out of me dahil nag-sisipsipan sila nang bagang in my class!!! we don’t do those kind of things di ba?yet in the philippines we just DO it. i brought a lot of condoms for my nephews who gets woodies even if you put a skirt on meralco poles, pinagtawanan ever ako. NOW? they all got married at like 19, 21 or 21. Worst? they are all in financial need and everyone looks up at me! KK nilag blue!such is the culture clash but i think we pinoys just are tres subservient kasi sa church and i blame the church in the philippines for being one big donor of poverty.

  5. reyna elena says:

    my first comment, nawala. also, i tagged you here nga pala: http://reynaelena.com/2008/01/22/8-things-i-am-grateful-for-meme/#comment-27477

  6. emily says:

    been thingking about this, as well! your essay! harhar ;owe had sex education in high school, 3rd year. fortunately…we surpassed teenage pregnancy.. atleast to my knowledge about my classmates. Filipino views regarding sex, as i have deduced from personal observations, is “highly americanized”.. like we are the “most trying hard” citizens to be a member of the “state”… eh nauuwi tuloy sa “state of calamity”!can´t explain better than refer mandy moore´s movie, SAVED!Parang Pelikulang Pilipino!

  7. I waved when i went past Chalmers today! They re-routed all trams coz of the bomb crap near the mail sorting place over by the train station….was on my way to work. was about 945am..where were u?anywho…as for what you just wrote.. pre-marital sex is well, we all have done it. what can i say?

  8. mogLi says:

    @Emily: Hi! Thanks for the comment. Yes, I do remember we had sex education or pop-ed as it was called then when I was in third yr high. and you were right, for some, that much needed education came too late. Oh, I’d like to see that film. Btw, you can also leave your blog addy if you got one instead of email, so that I could visit you too!
    @ReynaElena: Hahaha! Tama ka, it’s like Nike sa atin. Just do it! Natawa naman ako sa nephews mo…baka naman mana sa iyo pag dating sa sex drive! AHahahah! That isssue about the church and poverty deserves another entry and I’ll keep you posted on that. Ps. will also do the tag.
    @maluca: Exactly the point! hahaha! You’ll never know if the car engine works fine, right? LOL!
    @Malen: Bords, sa lahat ng comment mo, ito ang pinakamatino so far at walang kahalong bola! Ahahahah! *peace* alam mo namang natutuwa ako lagi sa komentaryos mo eh. About dun sa link, baka naman mga little people yun mga yun at hindi mga kidz!
    @Mel: Hey Mel! Tagal mong nawala sa blogosphere ah! Welcome back! Just linked you in my blogroll kung oks lang sa iyo.

  9. mogLi says:

    @Kimberly: 9:45 AM?? That’s way too early! Still sleeping! Hahaha! just kidding, I was actually staying overnight in the lab and haven’t been at my apartment for 48 hrs now. bomb threat? wow! i must have been so isolated here that i didn’t hear about that news. thanks for the wave anyway! i owe you one. LOL!

  10. Raggoparden says:

    But of Coarse I do! Fuck responsible, that is.. Only three kids in 47 years 😉

  11. Max says:

    Interesting post and you got some really good points. I see all these comment son how Americanized and Christianized the Philippines are and I have to ask why is that? What influence on the Americans have on the Philippines? And why does the Philippine language seems to be native language mixed up with English? I had no idea the Philippines had been some kind of American “colony” or something. You hav eto explain this, Mogli.

  12. Ambo says:

    kahit siguro pag usapan ng kahit ilang beses to sa atin, e nasa kultura na natin ang pagigigng mahiyain. Tama ang reyna, ginagawa na lang to ng ilan sa atin, kahit di na pag usapan. just imagine, bata pa ako alam ko na ang sex pero i’ve encountered the teaching when i was in college. Too late?

  13. bluep says:

    gandang gabi pareng mogli.I agree with what you said regarding the responsibility on sex (by now you know my position on pre-marital sex considering my scholastic background in the seminary) yet the problem here in our country is that they scare the young people in doing it. This is psychologically detrimental to the volatile and fragile thinking of the teenagers. The more you scare or suppress them, the more they would turn to their own instinctual curiosity. Its human nature.I don’t also agree in banning contraceptives etc. (except in extreme cases). This may seem surprising to you since I am very much identified as what my blog appears to be in the blogosphere – sarado katoliko.my point exactly lies on my analogy using the case of the da vinci code. The more the church bans the movie and the book, the more people would flock the cinemas or bookstores. This is why it is suicidal to ban anything that stirs the people’s curiosity.the best way is to teach the people the proper responsibility that comes with every decision that they will make. this is why churches have pulpits, to preach to the people the responsibility on sex. If teenagers will know the consequences of their action rather than scaring the hell outof them, then they will definitely not do it. sana nakuha mo punto ko. medyo magulo ata explica ko. fluid pa utak ko from my recent post eh.I am a very devout catholic but the ways of the catholic ministers (and not the church per se) is sooooooo old school. a reminiscent of galileo’s house arrest just because he open his mind on the possibility that copernicus maybe right after all. same thing here. why can’t some bishops have an alternative of instead of teaching the young people the morality of sex, teach first the responsibility. in our every decision, we first try to know the risk and responsibilities that it entails. then follows the decision where morality comes in.im a very devout and loyal catholic and has been submissive all my life to the teachings of the church, but there are things that needs to be updated in terms of views on the moral ascendancy of some of those in the hierarchy. the church must catch up on the change of time without compromising any teachings or doctrines.there is no official church document that recommends banning of contraceptives, only the morality of it. so why ban?I always believe on free will. God does not force us. he gives us options so that we may prove our worth to him. ganun din siguro sa sex. Give the young people options so that they may have the capacity to think and choose and become what the church expects of them — chaste and modest citizens of Godsensya na at inangkin ko ang blog mo ha. very stimulating kasi topic mo eh haha.Pax et Bonum

  14. Tuldok says:

    As long as our culture remains unreasonably religious…tsk.

  15. omlet says:

    thanks for such posts! sex and religion should not be mixed so as science and religion. u can have them both, though! but not mixed. nevertheless, it´s definitely a great sex with the one you´re lovingly commited with! ;o and if you´re responsible… you know it will work well! very well.

  16. joy says:

    I think the Filipino society will be all the better for it if sex was part of the curriculum in schools. It’s hardly reasonable to expect people to practise safe sex when they don’t know anything about it! I wish parents would also take responsibility in talking to their children about it – when it’s appropriate.By the way, please visit A Pinay In England and read my post Getting Married (26 January 2008) and tell me what wedding gift you are getting for Reynz and Ambo. joyYour Love CoachThe Goddess In YouNorwich Daily Photo

  17. Josef Boberg says:

    Hmmm… – Apropå “”Dont just be a responsible driver, be a responsible fucker!” Masturbation and Sexual Renewal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mLHl0uhYaY&feature=related , Masturbation Practicality – Arousal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyCqbY_luDw&feature=related

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