I Think I Lost My Electron

I am a sucker for jokes with subtle punchlines. You know that kind that makes your brain pause for a brief moment, before realizing what’s so funny about it. Simply the kind of joke where “he who thinks the slowest, laughs last.” LOLs.

In this Sunday Tag, I mentioned that a bar tender was the last person who made me laugh on that day. Here was his story about the horse:

A depressed horse went to a pub and sat by the bar.
The bartender asked, “Why the long face?”

Hahahaha! Reminds me of this live football match between Sweden and Cameroon during the World Cup some years ago. The Swedes were winning and as the camera sweeps by the bench of the Cameroonian team with the substitute players and staffs not looking so happy, the Swedish commentator quipped, “Det ser mörk ut i Cameroons utbytesbänk.” (Literally: It looks dark in Cameroon’s bench.”)

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This second shorty is kind’a nerdy but funny nonetheless:

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into one another on the street.

Hydrogen 1: Dude, I think I lost my electron.
Hydrogen 2: Whoah, no shit! Are you sure?
Hydrogen 1: Yes, I’m positive!

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Finally, here is one of my faves illustrating Pavlov’s classical conditioning theory in psychology.

A man went to a medical doctor complaining of stomach pains. After some tests, the doctor confirmed that a giant parasitic worm is causing havoc in the man’s bowels. The doctor ordered the man to come back the next day, and instructed him to bring three apples and a biscuit.

The man came back the following day with the requested items. The doctor then asked the man to pull down his pants and bend over. He inserted the three apples in the poor man’s behind, slowly one at a time. He then counted to ten before finally inserting the biscuit. After the procedure, the doctor told the man to go home, take a rest and be back the next day, again with three apples and a biscuit.

The following day, the patient was back and the procedure was repeated. Three apples, one at a time, ten counts, and then the biscuit.When it was over, the doctor told the man to be back the next day, but this time he should bring three apples and a heavy hammer.

The following day, they repeated the procedure. Just as before, the good doctor inserted the three apples in the man’s bottom one at a time. As he was counting ten, he held the hammer up in the air.

Just right after the count, the head of the worm showed up, “Where the fuck is my biscuit?”

I’m sure you know what happened next.